"Excuse me miss, does this dress come in a size Extra-Bitchy?"
So, we saw last night's episode of ANTM, yes? And we are enraged, yes?
I mean, what, did Tyra wake up on judging-day and decide "Hey, I should put on this unflattering dress and take out my puffy-armpit angst on Brooke"???
Brookie wasn't my pick to win the competition (go CariDee!), but I certainly liked her better than vapid Eugena (who has EXORCIST eyes). Not to mention, that cute slip of a girl posed with a freakin' SNAKE around her neck last week and rocked it. Compare and contrast with Ms. Jaeda, who has been whining for like 17 years about her damn hair. Which looks awesome. And yet who is still around?
But what pissed me off most of all was the rampant meglomania. Fuck you, Tyra Banks. You are NOT more important than graduating High School. "Think how many girls would give anything to be standing where you are now"... oh yeah, getting unfairly booted off a reality TV show is so much more appealing than celebrating 4 years of good memories and hard work. When your ex-contestants reliably end up as famous models (fingers crossed, Joanie & Danielle!), then maybe you can justify dousing yourself in Eau de Narcissism.
Here's to you, you beautiful girl! May you go on to great things!
In related news, could someone please send Smell-Rose a bottle of shine serum? Girl needs to comb her
In yet some more related news, look what I saw in the Shopper's Drug Mart flyer yesterday:
That model... is it... could it be... Andrea?!??! Y'know, as in Anderexia. Winner of CNTM. This one:
Now granted, the photo in the flyer is just horrible. Lady looks like a 35-year old dude. But then Anderexia sort of looked like a dude sometimes. The ad reminded me of that gawd-awful Cover Girl spot that the Final 3 shot. Seriously, who picks this stuff??
I don't know if Andrea's actually in that horrid ad, but to her credit, she was looking very cute at a recent function-type-thing. She looks a lot like Paige from Trading Spaces in that 2nd one, which isn't a bad thing at all.
Plus, she got to pose with Samuel L. Jackson! How badass is that? "NO I CAN'T STOP YELLING, THIS IS HOW I TALK! HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN ANY OF MAH MOOOVIES?"
And here she is on Much Music, finally looking like how a good model might look. Hip, glowy, and un-skeletal, if a little bit tired:
Whitby's come a long way. But Ylena still shoulda won.
Whew, and that's it for me! I promise to talk about the TruBlend Whipped Foundation soon, I think I've figured out the secret to its sucess. At any rate, it doesn't make me look like a 35-year old dude!