What IS this blog?

Just in case you were wondering what exactly is going on around here. Questions! Answers! Rah!

Who are you, and why are you here?

Woah, heavy. Trés existential, non? Let's break this down a bit:

Who am I? I'm a 20-something grad student, who is studying all sorts of geeky things that you probably don't want to hear about. I'm Oriental, with a light-to-medium skin tone. I'm apparently a MAC NC25, although I don't use their foundation. For the drugstore makeup sisterhood, this translates to about a Maybelline Nude/Sandy Beige and a Cover Girl Warm Beige.

I have lots and lots of thick hard hair. It's supposed to be black, but it looks a lot lighter. I currently have highlights from about 5 different stylists / salons / crappy mall places / a Clairol box in my hair. I can only hope it doesn't look as bad as it sounds.

I have normal/combo skin that is somewhat prone to breakouts. I don't burn and I tan easily, but I always use SPF on my face and stick to inside spaces like an albino hermit during the summer anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I am truly a child of air-conditioning.

I currently live in Toronto Canada, land of cold windy winters and hot humid summers. No, I don't want a donut. Yes, we have cable. Thank you.

Why am I here? Look, I buy a lot of shit, right? And if I review all this shit, and put in online where others might presumably read it, it means that I buy this stuff for the Futherance of Science, and the Good of Mankind, or whatever. Plus, it gives me yet another excuse for not doing whatever I'm supposed to be doing at the moment, be it finding the cure for cancer, or mapping out the human brain, or ... or designing... super- ... ultra- ... fuel- ... efficient- ... helicopters. Or something.

Why should I listen to you?

Um, you really shouldn't, you know. I've been telling people this all my life, but they don't listen. And then they go and blame their ruined lives on me like it's my fault that I managed to convince them they'd look good with pink lowlights. Look, if you don't know me well enough to tell when I'm sober and when I'm high outta my mind, then you definitely should not be taking my advice. Especially not on important things like your hair.

That was all a lie. (I don't do drugs! Stay in school! Winners never quit! Eat your veggies!) I might be a bit of a compulsive lier, but I'd NEVER lie about a product! Cosmetics are sacred, people!

So really, WHY should I listen to you???

What, you don't find my ADHD-style ramblings amusing? Okay, fine, I'll bite. You should listen to me because I'm out there on the frontlines of drugstore beauty! (Hey, that's rather good, maybe I should make that my tag-line...) I love love love (read: am addicted to) reading all the beauty blogs out there, and I drool drool drool over the wonderful products they talk about. But I'm a grad student! I live in a basement appartment! I don't have $30 to spend on an eyeshadow! (Although I will admit that living close to a Sephora is having an unhealthy effect on my bank account. On the plus side, my hair is quite shiny these days...)

And so, with my limited budget but never-ending hunger for yet another lipgloss, I scour the supermarket aisles! I am the discount diva! The penny-pinching primper! The doyenne of drugstore cosmetics! The alliteration aficionado and the mistress of malformed metaphor!

.... um, what???

Er, sorry. I get carried away sometimes. Okay, lots. Point is, I don't think you have to spend big bucks to look great. There is no brand snobbery here... if I try a $30 lip gloss that is amazing, I'll tell you. But I'll also tell you about the fantastic $5.99 blush that I found at the supermarket. If you can regularly afford to buy Dior, super. Hugs, kisses, and soft furry puppies to you. I envy you and am eyeing your cosmetics bag as we speak. But if you can't (or won't) shell out cash for designer lines, then maybe this blog will help you decide which of the not-quite-Armani products are right for you. Maybe it'll inspire you to try a new trend at low financial risk. Maybe it'll help you discover a cheaper alternative to something you really like. Or maybe it'll just entertain you a bit and help pass the time. If this blog can accomplish any of the above, then I'm a happy girl. Heck, I'm a happy girl if I manage to not totally offend you and piss you off with the content.

Plus, I generally cover products available to Canada, thus saving fellow Canadians the grief of reading about a fabulous lust-worthy product, only to that realise that you can't get it in the Great White North.

Oh, and sometimes I will post recipes, because I like to pretend to cook.

So will you advertise on this thing?

Nah... then this all would become a chore for me, and I don't want that. Besides, I swear WAY too much. You don't want potential customers to associate your product with such filthy language. Unless you're all about that kind of thing, I guess.
[EDIT: Dammit, I've made a liar out of myself yet again. Okay, fine. No ads unless I really like the company, or think the service will actually help you, or if they make me an offer I can't refuse. Or if I feel like rolling around in some more hypocrisy. There.]

Okay, but what's with the name? Glitterati??? You think you're all rock royalty or something?

Rock royalty? Dudes, I grew up in Calgary. That's like Texas North. Definitely no chi-chi glamour there. Good steak and mountains, sure, but glamour? Jann Arden is our most fanciest export. That should tell you something. (Love ya Jann!) As for the name... I don't know, I had to pick something. And I always thought that if I were ever to start a glam rock band à la The Darkness, I'd call it The Glitterati. Sadly, some boys from England have beaten me to it, so I'll just have to use this blog to live out my fantasies of wearing lots of tight pants and black eyeliner, and sleeping with hot young groupies.

Or not. You know.

You whiny bitch, you totally cussed out my favourite product / slammed on my homies / angered me unbelievably with your ignorant rantings. How do I give you a piece of my mind?

Oops. Sorry. All hate mail and death threats can go to brainspammer@gmail.com. Flowers and warm cookies are also welcome.

Wait a minute... so the whole reason for this blog is that you're a make-up junkie with a compulsive spending problem and waaaay too much time on her geeky geeky hands?

You betcha. Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy the ride!